Thursday, April 01, 2010

Rebuked...

I actually don’t know where to start here but I just wanted to pour out my feelings. I’m unsure whether this is right or wrong, normal or not but for some reason I feel sad and makes me re-evaluate myself if what else is missing? Or what have I done? Again I agree to the saying that “You cannot please everybody!” why? Well, because I get this commentary from a friend that it seems that I’m always not in a good mood, gets irritated fast or would burst with anger which honestly, shocked me! I am now asking myself questions while I’m doing this post and even getting opinions from other friends and for them they said that I’m fine and that they are use to how I really act when I am with them, because that is me! Who am I? How do I act? I know you would ask, I’m a happy person, love to have chats and laugh with friends and I would say that the tone and volume well, I would admit higher than normal but that doesn’t mean that I get angry or irritated really fast because it’s normal for me and I don’t want to be asked to repeat what I am saying over and over so I guess I make sure that I enunciate the words and explain what’s been happening on a tone that I won’t sound like a cat purring. *sigh* it makes me feel that I am a bad person with those kind of comments and saddens me because as I was judged of my personality. It’s just hard to explain to everyone that this is how my face looks like, that I am not angry or anything because they’ve assumed and I no longer have anything to say just to convince them that what they think is wrong because “it’s their opinion of me” I cannot dictate what they should’ve and should’ve not however, it pains me and made me cry for I never intend to offend anybody but I am not perfect, incidents may happen that I’m unaware of. Maybe I was just hoping or expecting that a friend would be the first to understand and would defend me from others who think that way and not the first to condemn me.

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