Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Why are you always saying that I am mad even if I’m not? Why as if you know me better than myself? Can you just tell me why are you doing this to me? Why is it that everything I do, you have something to say? Have I done something wrong? I feel like I’m a prisoner that every action I make I should consult or be given permission first, does this include the air I breathe? It adds up to my stress if you only knew what I am going through right now, I just hope that you would really cut it off! :(

Monday, April 12, 2010

More and more source of online income are reigning but hopefully they all stay and continue to offer such opportunities just like Neobux.

As I was browsing the Internet last night and checking updates from my blogger friends, I came across this heart felt post from Joy of Itakeoffthemask

Will you still love me even if I’m not perfect? Will you still love me even if I’m not the kind of person you wished I were? Will you still look into my eyes with warmth even if you saw my shadows? Will you still hold my hand even if you knew there will be times I’d let you down?

For though I yearn to take care of you as I should, though I desire to love you with a love that never falters and fades, my knees tremble this very moment that you hold me in your arms.

Shall I kiss you? Shall I hold your hand and bask in the light of your spirit knowing that I have my darkness, knowing there will be times that the light of my love will sometimes be overshadowed by the darkness that is in me?

Sometimes I’d be silent and I might bore you. I may not laugh at your jokes, and you may not understand the spell that’s enshrouding me. Sometimes I’d get troubled and I’d fail to put into words what the hell it is that troubles me. I wouldn’t be good company then, and I couldn’t make you smile.

Sometimes I’d get moody and I might not enjoy the things you’d like us to do together. Sometimes I’d lose my temper and I’d no longer act like the fine person who stands before you today. Sometimes I’d get jealous and I might say things I don’t really mean. Sometimes I’d talk too much that I might drive you away.

Sometimes I’d get touchy and I’d get easily hurt. And no matter how mature I try to be, at times I’d act in childish ways. I’d demand things I shouldn’t, I’d say thing I shouldn’t say. And no matter how much I desire to protect you and make you happy, sometimes I’d be the one who’d cause you the most pain.

If you will love me I cannot promise you that I will not hurt you. I cannot promise you that I will not make you cry and that I’ll never break your heart. But if you will love me, I will bare my whole self naked before you, and I will reveal to you my soul. If you will love me, you can be certain that it is I that you will love, not a mask that fools you and gives you only what your eyes desire to see. If you will love me, you can be certain that you will love the depths of me, all of me that is in me, and I in turn will love you with all of me, with all my soul, with all my mind, with all my spirit, with all my flaws and beauty, and with all my very heart.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

We watched Clash of the Titans last night after work and got disappointed with it. First of all, I think there is no need for it to be on 3D because it looks clearer without the glasses. Also, in the story Perseus was a son of Zeus but in the Lightning Thief he is a son Poseidon so what is it really? Do you really know Greek Mythology? As if they are saying that the later is a false story created just to have a movie, HAHAHA! Anyways, I like Sam Worthington for the role, for me he always suits that kind of manly character. I remembered watching AVATAR although he is not the one really running and swinging on trees there but he is good there. Enough with all the comparing now, I just wish that there have been more to it because it didn’t make my heart pounding on excitement.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Lenten season just passed and of course after holidays back to work again tomorrow. I had a great time with my family I just wish my brother was here so he could have joined us. We went to church last Friday and went swimming today. We left the house around almost 8 this morning and arrived at Subic almost 10:30 am, we took the SCTEX, I would say that the fee is all worth it, no bumps during the ride and the wind is refreshing, so we had some grocery at the Duty Free because we didn’t pack lunch, this outing was unplanned. So we bought a couple of canned goods and breads, chips and sodas as well as some fruits. HAHAHA! We were sort of on a diet… We scout first for the resort and decided to go to White Rock, they say that it’s expensive well, my mom thinks that it’s worth it because the other resorts we look at was crowded and the cottages are far from the beach. We were charged 500 pesos per head and the table was around 2000 or more I think… So everyone is excited specially my nieces, if I’m not mistaken the last time we went swimming as in the whole family was 10 years ago… HAHAHA! They all went ahead to dip into the salty water even though it was tremendously HOT! Sadly, I didn’t get to swim because of personal reasons… HEHEHE! I just went sun bathing and walked for a bit on the sand while looking after our stuff. The kids really loved it specially, when they also went into the pool. There’s a man-made wave I think that’s what they’re after, they get to run to the water not afraid that they can’t reach the bottom because they can see what’s underneath so they know nothing or no one is going to pull their feet unlike in the ocean aside from the fact that they cannot really go too far, they get to have sands on their feet which makes them uncomfortable specially my youngest niece, she always makes her mom wash her feet and asks her dad to carry her… Weird kid! HAHAHA! We decided to go home almost 7pm already and supposedly it will take us 2 or 2.5 hours to arrived in Manila since we took the SCTEX again but unfortunately when we arrived at NLEX the traffic went really slow and we saw that there are 7 vehicles bumped into each other, combination of cars, provincial buses, mini vans, and normal size vans… I really can’t believe it that a road that wide they still get to have that kind of accident (well, that’s why you call it accident, duh! Sorry I’m sleepy already) anyway, we arrived home 10 minutes before 11pm and had some normal food as dinner and just took a bath to freshen up, wrote this and about to sleep. All in all it was a relaxing day for me away from the city. I just hope that it will happen again soon!

Thursday, April 01, 2010

I actually don’t know where to start here but I just wanted to pour out my feelings. I’m unsure whether this is right or wrong, normal or not but for some reason I feel sad and makes me re-evaluate myself if what else is missing? Or what have I done? Again I agree to the saying that “You cannot please everybody!” why? Well, because I get this commentary from a friend that it seems that I’m always not in a good mood, gets irritated fast or would burst with anger which honestly, shocked me! I am now asking myself questions while I’m doing this post and even getting opinions from other friends and for them they said that I’m fine and that they are use to how I really act when I am with them, because that is me! Who am I? How do I act? I know you would ask, I’m a happy person, love to have chats and laugh with friends and I would say that the tone and volume well, I would admit higher than normal but that doesn’t mean that I get angry or irritated really fast because it’s normal for me and I don’t want to be asked to repeat what I am saying over and over so I guess I make sure that I enunciate the words and explain what’s been happening on a tone that I won’t sound like a cat purring. *sigh* it makes me feel that I am a bad person with those kind of comments and saddens me because as I was judged of my personality. It’s just hard to explain to everyone that this is how my face looks like, that I am not angry or anything because they’ve assumed and I no longer have anything to say just to convince them that what they think is wrong because “it’s their opinion of me” I cannot dictate what they should’ve and should’ve not however, it pains me and made me cry for I never intend to offend anybody but I am not perfect, incidents may happen that I’m unaware of. Maybe I was just hoping or expecting that a friend would be the first to understand and would defend me from others who think that way and not the first to condemn me.

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